SLAG PATROL

2007 Top 20: 1-5 

1. Beyonce and Shakira – Beautiful Liar (Freemasons Radio Vox)

The top track for dancing (and slagging) in 2007. The Freemasons are so good at fixing Beyonce songs–they turn the lame original into something angry and unforgiving. The name calling is great.

2. Girls Aloud – Call the Shots

Love love love this. It’s sounds like having the wind swept through your hair on a yacht in the tropics. It’s a bit pensive, a bit gramatically incorrect, and has a hauntingly perfect beat.

3. Sugababes – About You Now

Popjustice called it “a barnstorming pop-electro-rock masterpiece.” I completely agree.

4. Britney Spears – Break the Ice

The ‘Ooh, looks like we’re alone now’ chorus is certainly the best bit of any Britney song to date. So slick.

5. Groove Armada – Song 4 Mutya

The top-down, perfect summer in the sunshine song. Great synth.

David Guetta – The World is Mine (F.M.I.F. Radio Edit)

I heard this and first thought it was excellent for a followup (to Love Don’t Let Me Go), but then discovered Guetta actually made it in 2004 and it’s just now getting wide US release. But it’s great. The ‘the world is mine’ vocal sounds like David Gahan from Depeche Mode, but the only vocal credit I could find was to JD Davis, and the main beat (but not vocal) is from an old Simple Minds song. I hope this becomes massive.

Beyonce & Shakira – Beautiful Liar (Freemasons Radio Vox)

Popjustice brought this one to my attention–pre-remix it would be generous to call Beautiful Liar mediocre, but Freemasons have taken another okay Beyonce song and made it brilliant. It was tough to decide whether to post the short radio edit, longer club edit, or full 11 minute club mix, but I think the punchy radio edit gets the message across best.

Timbaland feat. Keri Hilson & D.O.E. – Way I Are

Popjustice also did a great review of the new Timbaland album recently (in which they determined, on a track by track basis, that nothing on the album is as good as Maneater. But what is? They still gave it an 8 out of 10). Way I Are is too short and has a few too many Sexyback-style “Yeah!”s, but it’s still very good.

Madonna – Like A Virgin (live 2006)

This rework of Like A Virgin is both dramatically different from the 1984 original (adding Stuart Price synth chords and beats) and also quite similar–the spirit of the song remains intact. It’s from a concert at Wembly in London last summer.

Finally, here is my top 10 for 2006. After compiling the list I discovered that my top 10 is actually very close to Popjustice’s. This was not intentional–great minds just think alike.

1. Nelly Furtado – Maneater (acoustic version linked)

Whether radio version, album version, acoustic (so good!), or remixed, this is the song I loved most in 2006. The aggressive verses, the glorious chorus, the sheer dance-worthiness of it–i still can’t get enough of it.

2. All American Rejects – Move Along

I love this because it’s so catchy. And not to get maudlin or overly sentimental but my life did a lot of moving along in 2006, and I had this song in the background for a lot of it.

3. Pink – U and Ur Hand (Bimbo Jones Mix)

This song wasn’t bad before. But Bimbo Jones made it epic. The chorus is played up fantastically.

4. Take That – Patience

I’m generally not a sucker for ballads, and I didn’t even know who Take That were before 2006, but I love this.

5. Jamelia – Beware of the Dog

At first I thought it was sacrilege for Jamelia to sample Depeche Mode’s Personal Jesus. But it’s excellently done.

6. Paris Hilton – Nothing in this World (Kaskade Radio Mix)

My favorite remixes tend to make saccharine songs sinister, and this is the best example of it in 2006.

7. Gnarls Barkley – Crazy

Sure it got overplayed, but it’s so good.

8. The Modern – Sometimes

Retro done right. Starts a little slow, but the chorus is amazing.

9. Beyonce – Ring the Alarm (Freemasons Radio Mix)

So angry. One of my favorite song to run to in 2006, along with Maneater and Beware of the Dog.

10. Muse – Supermassive Black Hole

Muse stopped trying to sound like Radiohead and turned on the pop machine in 2006. This song’s great.

Beyonce – Ring the Alarm (Freemasons Radio Mix)
Marit Bergman – My Love

This remix of Ring the Alarm is my new favorite song for both running and walking purposefully through crowded airports. It’s so angry! It slaps you in the face when it starts and doesn’t let up for the whole three and a half minutes. The build at 2 minutes is magnificent. And the My Love cover by Marit Bergman (poached from the fantastic Into the Groove)–the minimalist piano and xylophone really work for the song. My only minor, minor gripe: she omits the ‘I can see us holding hands, walking on the beach our toes in the sand’ part, my favorite bit of the original. And she could totally fit it in during the harmonica/ahh-ing part towards the end of the song. But beggars can’t be choosers–it is very good.

Melody Club – Fever Fever
Beyonce – Deja Vu (Freemasons Radio Mix)

I thought Melody Club were alright a couple summers ago when they had a pretty big single with Wildhearts. Fever Fever (brought to my attention by Catchy Tunes of Sweden) has raised my estimation of them a great deal. Love the bouncy guitar, punchy piano chords, faux strings, and hand claps (!). What else does a good pop song need? And this Beyonce remix turns Deja Vu into an almost entirely different song. While not as “menacing” or “sinister” as some of the remixes I’ve posted here (see Paris and Sugababes here), it really does turn what was a fairly mediocre song into something urgent and great.