Britney Spears – Womanizer (Mike Rizzo Funk Generation Radio Edit)
Britney Spears – If U Seek Amy (Mike Rizzo Funk Generation Radio Edit)

Mike Rizzo’s Womanizer mix has become one of my favorite songs of all time; it’s by far the best of the Womanizer mixes. Britney’s taking no prisoners — I love it. The If U Seek Amy mix is also very good. It takes a song that couldn’t take itself less seriously and plays it straight, turning it into something very danceable.

Lady Gaga – Poker Face (JDB Edit)

It’s the ah-ah-ah-AHs at the beginning and during the chorus that really make this for me. As a whole the song is poppy (the poppiest Jody Den Broeder mix I’ve heard certainly) but still a little restrained, and quite pretty.

The Saturdays – Just Can’t Get Enough (Wideboys Club Mix)

This song is irresistibly camp, even after this by-the-numbers remix. I also love the video.

Lily Allen – The Fear (Stonebridge Explicit Radio Edit)

A remix that very much improves upon a decent song. The progression at the beginning, that the whole song is layered upon, really suits it.

Bimbo Jones is at his best remixing Pink (see U and Ur Hand); this is just fantastic–it takes the cheese out of the melody and turns a light, fun song into a tight, angry anthem.

Britney Spears – Womanizer (Nick* Remix)

This remix just changes the backbeat, in a fierce, Personal Jesus sort of way. I’m still waiting for a remix that makes a fundamentally new song, but until then this works.

Kylie Minogue – Can’t Get You Out of my Head (Greg Kurstin Remix)

Thoroughly Modern Kylie: Greg Kurstin has created the best remix of this song yet. It wouldn’t sound out of place on X; it keeps the song’s irresistible melody and makes it slicker, better.

Lindsay Lohan – Bossy (Sam998899’s In Control Edit)

Lindsay Lohan is indeed still making music; the original version of Bossy is fine, but not as good as this. Sam998899 adds a video game vibe and a pounding synth that is so 80s and so good.

OK, so it’s not exactly original; it’s Rihanna’s SOS + Rachel Stevens’s Some Girls + Britney’s Radar mashed together. Still, it’s excellent. The chorus sounds metallic, a touch industrial but still poppy. Good work Britney’s producers.

Christina Aguilera – Genie in a Bottle (2008 rework)

More palate cleanser than full song, this version of Genie in a Bottle is from her performance at the 2008 Video Music Awards. It’s very very sleek, and unfortunately only a minute and a half long–the new song it segued into on the show wasn’t nearly as good.

BWO – Lay Your Love On Me

BWO (formerly Bodies Without Organs) were a Slag Patrol favorite, until they put out about 10 truly awful ballads in a row and put on the worst show I’ve ever seen at the Astoria. Lay Your Love On Me is a very welcome return to form. It’s slick. It’s fun. It doesn’t take itself too seriously. I like.

Robyn – Handle Me (Ortzroka Death To Disco Dub)

The best mix of Handle Me I’ve heard yet. Everything saccharine in the original has been replaced with an angry, throbbing synth.

Rihanna – Disturbia (Craig C & Nique’s Master Radio Mix)

This remix loses the original’s irresistible melodic Bum-Bum-Be-Ums, but it adds a fantastic ‘destroy everything you touch’ edge.

Coldplay – Vida La Vida (Grant’s Uplifting Club Mix)

I was so over Coldplay, and then they came out with Vida La Vida, one of my favorite songs of the summer. This mix doesn’t change much but adds a good beat.

The Killers – Human

Stuart Price has done good work here. It’s the Killers at their synthy, yearning best. Very excited for this album to drop.

Katy Perry – Hot N Cold

I really shouldn’t like this song so much. I don’t understand why. It just make me so. happy. The Max Martin magic is working.

While this Eric Prydz track lacks the saccharin bubble-gum popness of Call on Me, it remains very slick and well done; its driving, pulsing beat is almost but not quite too repetitive.

Seal – The Right Life (Josh Harris Radio Mix)

The original version of this song is slow and awful. Fortunately Josh Harris’s remix is neither of those things.

Britney Spears – Gimme More (Paul Oakenfold Mix)

Missed this one somehow when it came out. It’s fantastic, especially the intro. More urgent than other mixes.

Mariah Carey – Touch My Body (Seamus Haji Radio Edit)

I’m against all things Mariah Carey stands for, but this remix grew on me a lot. The chorus kind of gets under your fingernails and before you know it you’re singing along.

Break the Ice is my favorite track off Blackout. Kaskade is one of my favorite DJs. And together? The inner teenage girl in me is shrieking OMFG. The chorus is transcendent. As a whole the song almost tops Kaskade’s mix of Paris Hilton’s Nothing in this World. Almost. The other remixes of Break the Ice (including the Tracy Young mix) are good but not this good.

Rihanna – SOS (Nevins Glam Club Mix)

I somehow missed this when it came out. The wavy synth is brilliant.

Estelle feat. Kayne West – American Boy

I like the smoothness and easiness of this one. And Kayne’s rap is good.

Utah Saints – Something Good 08

Derivative 80s synth? Check. A complete lack of originality? Check. But I was eventually won over by this track (thanks to Robin), mostly because of its crazy video. We have yet to actually rock these moves on the dancefloor, but it’s going to happen.

This is my favorite Piece of Me remix. It’s probably not the best one to dance to (that’s either the Junior Vasquez/Jonny Vicious mix or the Bloodshy and Avant mix), but the haunting synth chorus Tiesto made for this one is just brilliant. Poor Britney–at least we have the remixes.

Girls Aloud – Call the Shots (Tony Lamezma Mix)

Call the Shots was already pretty much the perfect pop track, so Tony Lamezma had a tough task ahead of him in remixing it. His mix doesn’t quite soar to the heights of his Biology remix (a Slag Patrol all time #1 favorite)–what it loses is the sheer sultriness of the original. It’s still a solid effort though in an understated, repetitive way.

Bloodhound Gang – Screwing You on the Beach at Night

Bloodhound Gang? These guys are still around? Indeed they are, and Screwing You on the Beach at Night is actually very good pop. Except for the lyrics.  They are inane, silly, asinine, even kinda offensive (“on a unicorn that shits your name in stars”?). The beat is great though–if only Girls Aloud’s producers had used it to make a song that could be taken seriously.

The Veronicas – Untouched

I really like the Veronicas and really like the strings in this song. In a reversal of how it ‘normally’ is, the chorus on this track is the weakest part. It lacks the smoothness and tone of the rest of the song and only works adequately with the strings. The verses, however, really won me over. They just keep going and going and leave the girls with barely any time to breathe.

1. Beyonce and Shakira – Beautiful Liar (Freemasons Radio Vox)

The top track for dancing (and slagging) in 2007. The Freemasons are so good at fixing Beyonce songs–they turn the lame original into something angry and unforgiving. The name calling is great.

2. Girls Aloud – Call the Shots

Love love love this. It’s sounds like having the wind swept through your hair on a yacht in the tropics. It’s a bit pensive, a bit gramatically incorrect, and has a hauntingly perfect beat.

3. Sugababes – About You Now

Popjustice called it “a barnstorming pop-electro-rock masterpiece.” I completely agree.

4. Britney Spears – Break the Ice

The ‘Ooh, looks like we’re alone now’ chorus is certainly the best bit of any Britney song to date. So slick.

5. Groove Armada – Song 4 Mutya

The top-down, perfect summer in the sunshine song. Great synth.

11. Rihanna – Umbrella (The Lindbergh Palace Radio Edit)

One of my favorite moments out of 2007 was when we were at Trash Palace and someone opened up an umbrella to dance under during this song. Amazing. This mix is pretty good, a bit camp, about on par with Jody den Broeder’s mixes. Not particularly better than the original, but you might not have heard it.

12. Fall Out Boy – Thnks Fr Th Mmrs (The Lindbergh Palace Radio Edit)

Loved the original. Love this mix even more. It’s much more dramatic; the yearning is palpable (and the strings are amazing!).

13. Britney Spears – Piece of Me

Oh sigh. Blackout is actually, surprisingly, shockingly excellent, but no one is going to notice because Britney has gone batshit insane. This song’s chorus is brilliant.

14. Hilary Duff – Stranger (Albert Castillo Radio Edit)

Another sinister Duff mix.

15. Good Charlotte – Dance Floor Anthem

Carolyn told me about this album, Good Morning Revival, and how surprised she was that she liked it so much. This song is emblematic, with a catchy, irrepressible chorus.